~Sam~
What is pain?
Is it being with you and not seeing that you could leave,
Or is it knowing that we won’t be together forever
Like I had planned.
The talks we had
The tears I shed
How do they make you feel?
When you look over me and see
That I’m having a hard time without you.
There was no one else that I thought
That would love me as you did
Whenever I came home you were always the first to greet me.
So imagine my surprise and sorrow
When I come home and you aren’t there to greet me anymore
You have been with me since almost day one
You have always held a special place in my heart.
When you decided it was time to go
Did you think about the lives that would be changed forever?
For now whenever I think of you
My heart feels heavy and I’m always close to tears.
So now you know that I truly loved you
And now that I told you
I think its time to say,
I have to let you go…
1. What do you think about the message? Is it clear?
2. What do I need to work on?
What is pain?
Is it being with you and not seeing that you could leave,
Or is it knowing that we won’t be together forever
Like I had planned.
The talks we had
The tears I shed
How do they make you feel?
When you look over me and see
That I’m having a hard time without you.
There was no one else that I thought
That would love me as you did
Whenever I came home you were always the first to greet me.
So imagine my surprise and sorrow
When I come home and you aren’t there to greet me anymore
You have been with me since almost day one
You have always held a special place in my heart.
When you decided it was time to go
Did you think about the lives that would be changed forever?
For now whenever I think of you
My heart feels heavy and I’m always close to tears.
So now you know that I truly loved you
And now that I told you
I think its time to say,
I have to let you go…
1. What do you think about the message? Is it clear?
2. What do I need to work on?
1. I think the message is about telling someone that you love them that is either gone or dead and i think it clear on what the message is.
ReplyDelete2. what unclear to me is who is this poem for??
Is this poem about your dog?--because you have a picture of a dog at the beginning of the poem. You need uncapitolize some of the first words in each line.
ReplyDelete1. I like the idea of what is pain and letting go, but i'm not quite sure what the message is...
2. maybe make the message clear if you can and if it IS about you dog, or make that clearer?
But otherwise, nice poem!
i agree with Jenni and the stuff u need to work on is not much just change the caps maybe more show rather then tell but i loved it so good job
ReplyDelete