~Puppy Love~
I know we are only in the the 5th grade,
and I know that we really can't know love yet.
But I know you,
and I like what I know.
You made me laugh,
even if I was sad.
You made me feel happy
and protected always.
Even if I was wary the first time you came
up to me and said "pull my finger"
and I asked "why?"
You didn't say and just sat there waiting for me to go ahead
one finger tug later you didn't make a fart noise
or anything like.
You just made me laugh through my tears.
I knew from that moment on
that we could be the best of friends.
But things change as they often do.
1st grade, 2nd, 3rd and 4th
You were always my friend.
But when 5th grade came around you had to move.
And I never got to see your smiling face.
And so I wish I could have told you then
that I liked you
and to tell you now that I think of you often.
1. Is there anything wrong with the capitalization?
2. Do you think I "tell" and don't "show" and if I do what do you suggest to change it?
I don't see anything wrong with the capitalization. I think you tell more than show except with the finger pulling that was showing. It is a really cute poem and I like it.
ReplyDelete1. I thikn capitalization is fine.
ReplyDelete2. The poem had a little bit of telling rather then showing.
I liked this poem--I could relate to it a lot since almost the exact same thing happened to me--not the finger pulling thing--but a friend I liked moved away and I never got to tell him I liked him. Great poem.
I liked it a lot i know how you feel and i there was nothing wrong with your capitalization and i do think you tell more then you show but the whole idea of the poem is to tell someone something and it is what you needed to say
ReplyDeletethe cap.s is fine works. you really get what your feel from this. your get it right away, was very nice. but like i say maybe add more of how you felt maybe
ReplyDeleteI really like it! overall its really good, but i think you should show more by telling? I think you should emphasize more on reminiscent emotions and thoughts to bring us back with you
ReplyDelete